“Saturday Night Live” pulled out the stops in a “Fox News” cold open with Alex Moffat’s Tucker Carlson and a screaming Jeanine Pirro (Cecily Strong), who examined the finer points of Donald Trump’s total capitulation to the Democrats on the government shutdown.

Zaniest of all was a return of longtime “SNL” favorite Steve Martin as Roger Stone addressing his “ludicrous arrest” Friday. It was “so harrowing and afterwards I could only manage one radio interview and a speech from the steps of the courthouse and two appearances on television,” he goofed.

Actually, Martin/Stone admitted: “Hey, wow, what a fun couple of days! I’m lovin’ the ride! Go, Nixon! Honestly, I think I’m the happiest I’ve ever been in my life. Seven felonies! How cool is that?”

He told a perplexed Carlson, “Pardon me.” Then Martin clarified: “That wasn’t a question. I was saying that to the president: Pardon me!”

Chameleon Kate McKinnon did a star turn as Secretary of Commerce Wilbur Ross, who insisted he’s not out of touch with the common man — even though he was perplexed that unpaid federal workers needed to go to charity food pantries to eat.

“That was silly of me,” McKinnon’s Ross said. “I simply meant there are other ways of getting money. They could have liquidated some of their stocks, or sold one of their paintings. Even … a lesser Picasso is still going to get you through a week or two of yacht maintenance.” Instead of going out to dinner, people could “open a restaurant,” McKinnon added.