Alec Baldwin returned to Saturday Night Live this weekend to mock President Donald Trump’s national emergency declaration a day earlier to pay for his border wall.
“I’m here to declare a very urgent, important national emergency,” Baldwin said right after stepping in front of the podium and a gaggle of reporters at a White House news conference.
Before offering details on his emergency declaration, he shared some other breaking news.
“I just had a great health exam. I’m still standing at 6 foot 7,” he said with a straight face, reminiscent of one of those hilarious Geico commercials.
As for the border, he insisted, “We. Need. Wall. We have a tremendous amount of drugs flowing into this country from the southern border, or the brown line, as many people have asked me not to call it.”
“That’s why we need wall, because wall works,” he said in broken English. “Wall makes safe. You don’t have to be smart to understand that.”
He then admitted he wasn’t being completely truthful.
“You all see why I gotta fake this emergency, right? I have to because I want to. It’s really simple. We have a problem.”
He then compared the U.S. to China, but said at least this country doesn’t execute its citizens for non-violent crimes.
“Imagine if we used the death penalty for non-violent crimes here. We shot them — bing, bing — two in the back of the head.”
Baldwin’s Trump finally got back to the point, and said he was going to sign the papers declaring a border emergency, even though he knew he’d immediately get sued.
“And then it will end up in the Supreme Court, and then I’ll call my buddy [Brett] Kavanaugh, and I’ll say it’s time to repay the Donny, and he’ll say ‘new phone, who dis?’ Then the Mueller report will be released, crumbling my house of cards,” he went on and on and on, before admitting after all those scenarios, his “personal hell of playing president will finally be over.”
He eventually decided to take questions from reporters, but he refused to hear what the NBC correspondent had to say because “they suck.”
POTUS called on a reporter from Playboy magazine hoping for a “softball” question.
But once the reporter went hard — no pun intended — and said illegal immigration is “actually down,” Baldwin yelled, “Sit down!
(Excerpt) Read more in: Deadline